Navigating Matrescence: The Identity Shift of Motherhood By Zoe Blaskey
If you’re new to me and Motherkind: I’m Zoe Blaskey, a transformational coach, podcast host, speaker and mother. I created Motherkind to support mothers amid the intense demands of motherhood. Through my top podcast, community and now my new Sunday Times bestselling book, Motherkind, I help women find compassion, clarity and confidence as they journey through the transformation that is motherhood.
What is Matrescence?
We’ve all heard of adolescence, a time of identity shifts, emotional upheaval and transformation. Matrescence is the same kind of change, but for mothers. When I first heard the term, I felt an enormous weight lift off my shoulders. Suddenly, the overwhelm, the questioning, the shifts in identity and emotion all made sense. I wasn’t broken or doing it wrong, I was going through matrescence.
Matrescence describes the physical, emotional, hormonal and psychological shift that happens when we become mothers. It isn’t just about learning to care for a baby, it’s about learning who you are now, in this new season of life. And just like adolescence, it can feel messy, confusing and disorienting.
"There is nothing wrong with you. Your values and identity are meant to shift in motherhood."
What Changes to Expect
One of the biggest and most common shifts is identity. Many women tell me, “I just don’t know who I am anymore.” And my response? That’s normal. In fact, it’s expected. When we enter motherhood, we often feel pressure to ‘bounce back’, to our bodies, our careers, our social lives. But neuroscience now shows that our brains change more in pregnancy and postpartum than at any other life stage.
You don’t get your ‘old’ self back because you’re becoming someone new. And with that shift can come grief, the loss of who you were before. Grieving your pre-motherhood self doesn’t make you ungrateful. It makes you human.
How Long Does Matrescence Last?
There’s no set timeline. For some, it’s the first year. For others, the shift stretches over many years—each child, each transition (returning to work, growing your family) adds a new layer. Think of it as a continual unfolding, rather than a one-off transformation in a process that can last up to 10 years.
"Grieving your pre-motherhood self doesn’t make you ungrateful. It makes you human."
5 Gentle Tips to Support Yourself During Matrescence
1. Name it to tame it – Simply knowing the word ‘matrescence’ can be powerful. It gives context and validation to what you’re experiencing.
2. Let go of ‘bouncing back’ – You’re not going back. You’re growing forward. Allow yourself the grace to grow into this new version of you.
3. Connect with your changing identity – Journal, talk, reflect. Be curious about what values matter to you now. What do you want motherhood to look and feel like?
4. Prioritise small acts of nourishment – This could be 5 minutes of breathwork, a short walk, or choosing nutrient-rich food. Little actions have a big impact.
5. Build a village (even virtually) – Find spaces and voices that validate your experience. Podcasts, online communities, consultations with nutritional therapists, supportive friends, you don’t have to do this alone.
My Motherhood Toolkit
One piece of advice I often share: You matter too. Your needs, emotions, dreams, they didn’t disappear when you became a mother.
Some tools that have helped me:
- Breathwork (just three deep breaths can change your day)
- Journaling to stay in touch with my inner world
- Setting tiny intentions—like one nourishing act a day
- Saying “no” more often to say “yes” to myself
"When we lead with curiosity, not criticism, we make space to grow."
Closing Thoughts & Where to Find Me
Matrescence is not a flaw in your motherhood, it is motherhood. The more we talk about it, the more we normalise it, the more supported we all feel.
To enjoy more nourishing content, you can:
- Catch up on our Instagram Live
- Read my new book Motherkind here
- Join the Motherkind community on Instagram , listen to the Podcast, or visit motherkind.co
- Shop my favourite products on Wild Nutrition here
