How to be selfish by psychologist Suzy Reading

Modern life is noisy, our attention tugged at left, right and centre. Consumerism pokes at our insecurities, our social media feeds are flooded with wellbeing do’s and don’ts and the latest productivity hacks. It’s a wonder we can even hear ourselves think! It is time for you to come home to SELF, to turn inwards and listen to what your bodymind is whispering to you… and if like me, you have experienced energetic bankruptcy, you’ll also have learned that it is better to attend to the whisper than wait for the shout! Before we rise, we root; let’s lay the foundation for what you want to see bloom in your life. Let me guide you through the framework that will help you honour your SELF, so you can start living like you matter too.

The 7 steps to take back your power

Step 1: I reclaim my mind

What have you been told about selfishness, selflessness and the right to honour your needs and feelings? Hold it up to the light and ask does this serve you? Can you broaden your values of kindness and compassion to also include yourself? It’s not a transgression of your values, but a more authentic expression of them. Punitive self-talk is a form of self-harm so please, build your muscles of encouraging self-talk and speak to yourself with dignity and respect.

Step 2: I reclaim my attention

Notice how your attention is dissipated by modern life and its pinging notifications. Use your senses to learn how to direct your focus, helping you reconnect with yourself, the foundation for you to be aware of your needs. While drinking your morning cuppa, place a hand on your heart and ask yourself: Where am I at? What do I need? Repeat regularly throughout your day and feel how this heals your relationship with self.

 

Step 3: I reclaim my body 

What have you been told your body is for, who is it for, what is a good body? Honey, it is time you take your body back! Your body is for you – she is your home. Nourish her and watch how the feeling of worth comes from the loving action; don’t wait to feel worthy! Connecting with your body builds your capacity to soothe your nervous system and reclaim your right to experience pleasure, key to healing and energy Management.

Step 4: I reclaim my right to feel

You may have been raised to believe there are positive and negative emotions and depending on your gender, there are some that are ok to express and others that are off limits. We need to change the script – we need all our emotions, they are cues alerting us to our needs. Make space for them and ask what message they hold foryou.

Step 5: I take back my moral compass

You’ve been told you must be a self-reliant, resilient and productive human being, but you’ve also learnt that you mustn’t be selfish! How can we be resilient without tending to self? See this for the impossible bind it is and break free. It’s time you choose your own values. What matters most to you?

 

Step 6: I prioritise myself

What are your boundaries with yourself? What basic promises to self do you need to keep, to be able to show up as you aspire to? Permission to prioritise your needs.

Step 7: I advocate for myself

Now you know yourself and have resourced yourself, this step is all about buildingthe confidence to represent yourself, so that you can voice your feelings and needs and finally receive the love and support you deserve. People aren’t good mind readers so let’s practice making clear requests – watch how this nurtures your wellbeing AND the health of your relationships.

Suzy Reading is a Chartered Psychologist and one of the UK’s leading self-care and self-advocacy experts. She has three decades of experience in the health and wellbeing industry, drawing on her qualifications in yoga and personal training, together with psychology, to empower people with sustainable healthy lifestyle habits. Suzy has a special interest in helping people heal their relationship with ‘self’. She is a monthly columnist for Top Sante Magazine; the Psychology Expert for Neom Organics; the Wellbeing Ambassador for BABTAC and is a founding member of the ‘Nourish’ app. She is the author of The Little Book of Self-Care, The Self-Care Revolution, Stand Tall Like a Mountain, Self-care for Tough Times, This Book Will (Help) Make You Happy, And Breathe, Sit to Get Fit, Rest to Reset and Self-care for Winter. How to Be Selfish is hot off the press.

How to Be Selfish is available here: https://smarturl.it/howtobeselfish 

One more thing, have you booked your complimentary nutritional consultation yet? It’s a simple, powerful way to reconnect with your body’s needs and build habits that help you root before you rise. This isn’t selfish, it’s the foundation that steadies everything else.